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It was, as they say, a rum’un. I should have known when, as I approached Carrow Road from Riverside, I spotted the new ‘crossing patrol’. Gone are the rotating signs of last year. In their place, some sort of plastic barrier, operated as a ‘gate’. Except that most people walked around it. But that wasn’t the absurd part. It was the operatives. Which Health and Safety genius decided that, in order to make the employees stand out, they should wear bright yellow ‘high visibility’ clothing? So noticeable amongst the sea of yellow shirts converging on NR1. The same, no doubt clipboard-wielding, genius also dictated that the people operating this ‘gate’ were in mortal danger and therefore had to wear protective headgear. Really? What would have been better, instead of the ‘school crossing patrol’, would have been if the club had used the money to employ some people to assist in the queuing process outside the River End. There was a melee and entanglement of people, and no one knew which queue was for which turnstile. The person two or three in front of me queued for 20 minutes only to discover he needed to be in the next queue along and would have to join at the back all over again. Bearing in mind that as I was ascending the staircase at the back of the River End, I heard the stadium announcer cry out ‘Carrow Road, are you ready to make some noise? ’ I shouted back ‘No’, but he ignored me. I just got to my seat as the match kicked off. I dispute what some of my fellow queuees said – I don’t think it was the new ticket system. That has been in for a year now, and people must surely be used to it by now. I think it was simply the chaos outside, with people in the wrong queues being denied admission by the system because they were at the ‘wrong’ turnstile. Sort it please, Norwich City. And then there was the game. We should have known – City’s statistics for the first game of the season make grim reading, having only won three times in at least the last quarter of a century. Be thankful it wasn’t a 7-1. However, in his pre-match conference, Philippe Clement referenced that at this time of year, while he wanted to win every game, it was the performance that mattered. Despite what several fans around me thought as they flooded towards the exits when the game was 2-0, this was neither ‘rubbish’ nor ‘pathetic’. City had 20 shots, seven of which were on target and saved by the keeper in a variety of desperate blocks, lunges and general goalmouth scrambling. It is indeed fortunate that amongst those on the pitch, City had a golden boot winner with 38 goals in a single season to his name. Regrettably, that was the last time Kellen Fisher scored – in the London County Youth League, and after Saturday’s efforts, it will be some time before he breaks his duck as a professional. He had more attempts on goal (5) than any City player. If it were possible, I’m sure his ‘xG’ would be negative! To be fair, he was getting in the positions in the first place; however… Despite the plethora of chances that City created, and the almost zero threat that Albion posed for much of the game, this was not City at anywhere near their brightest and best. Pelle Mattsson reverted to the player we saw 12 months ago under Manning, and Anis Ben Slimane had one of his all-too-frequent games where he largely goes missing. As a result, although largely dominant in possession, City never really felt like they had control of the midfield, which allowed Albion more opportunities than their bus-parking tactics really deserved. I am rather surprised that Clement didn’t act sooner – Wright for Mattsson looked like an odds-on half-time move, and Schwartau for Slimane, to allow Maghoma to move to the number 10 slot – where he is undoubtedly more effective – seemed like what was needed. However, it took until the 72nd minute for those changes to occur, and it was Diallo who came on to replace Maghoma, and Schwartau moved into the 10 instead of Slimane. I liked this move, but it was short-lived as Jacob Wright replaced the useful-looking Brooks on 80, moving Schwartau out to the right. Which meant I have neatly circumvented ‘that’ ‘goal’. I’ll be honest, as the ball came in, my first thought from my lofty upper tier River End perch was that Heggebo was offside. And then he scored. To quote the late, great Roy Waller, it was something of ‘the Madonna touch’. Ah, but what about that one Makama scored last year, I hear you say. Let’s be quite clear. This wasn’t a ball that bounced up, deflected off a body part, past a hand and into the net. This was blatant cheating. Heggebo punched the ball into the net. No ifs. No buts. Cheating. The only explanation for Tim Robinson’s lack of a decision that I can fathom is that, as a Premier League referee, he is so used to having VAR as ‘Top Cover ’ that he forgot that he had to make a decision. He appeared bewildered afterwards, started towards the linesman and then carried on. I know the VAR debate will go on forever, but surely some sort of halfway house could be used. Like in cricket, two appeals per game per side. The referee then goes to a pitch-side monitor, looks again for himself – only for clear errors, not millimetric offsides. That means that incidents like this – and our goal against Derby where the cross came from off the pitch – would be picked up. Heggebo too should hang his head in shame at this clear deliberate act. As for the second goal, Fisher had just missed his most golden chance yet after excellent work by the returning Diallo on the left. As he tracked back, his outstretched boot failed to intercept the long ball forward. I felt Darling should have done better against Morgan, who was able to make space and shoot past Vlad. And this is where so many around me got to their feet, hurling insults, and left the ground. Come on – disappointing? Yes. Rubbish? No. Kvistgaaden came on for Touré for the closing minutes. We have said often that Mo is not the finished article. He is strong. When he has the ball at his feet, he was able to hold the ball up against the attentions of three defenders; however, his strength is not in winning long balls in the air. Kvistgaaden came on, leapt in trademark style, and won the first one that Vlad launched long. Mo – you know what you need to work on! It was good to see the Dane grab his goal though, after a long lean spell. Despite all the huffing and puffing, time-wasting and general dark arts, City didn’t manage to fashion a real chance before the end of the game, and so that dreadful opening day sequence continues. City were about at 75% of what they can do. Get Diallo and Makama fit, and they will look a different side. Get Mattsson back to his best – even better. Wright must be nibbling at his heels for a start. This week’s song is a special dedication to Mr Tim Robinson. May it haunt you! ‘Handball’ by Billy Joel!