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John Harbaugh answers your leadership questions before the start of his first Giants season Peak newsletter 🧠 | This is an excerpt from The Athletic's weekly newsletter covering the mental side of sports. Sign up here to receive the Peak newsletter directly in your inbox. Every month, New York Giants coach John Harbaugh will answer reader-submitted questions about leadership. Harbaugh is in his first year with the Giants and also the co-founder of the Harbaugh Coaching Academy, a non-profit that helps coaches at all levels. Anyone interested in asking Harbaugh a question about leadership can submit one in the box below. You can read last month's Q&A here. Now, on to the questions: When dealing with a subordinate (player or coach) who feels as if they have earned an opportunity you can't give them, how do you navigate that? -- Cole K. Harbaugh: Just with honesty. I've had those conversations here in the last few days. I think most of these guys deserve more of an opportunity than they're actually getting because the competition is so tough. So many times the key to making it is just the chance to break through. Getting that chance is not always easy. I just try to explain the circumstances: "Here is where we're at. This is where we stand and how you fit into that." I try to acknowledge the fact that they deserve more; they've earned more. I tell guys: "You should be on this 53-man roster. You should be on another 53. You deserve to be on a 53-man roster. But this is why it's not working out here right now." Do you coach an established star and an undrafted rookie the same way? And why? -- Pierre B. Harbaugh: I don't think you coach any two people the same way. Everybody is unique. Nobody is the same. You don't categorize them as an established star or an unestablished player or whatever. It's more about: Who is this person? I try to have as many conversations with the unestablished player as I do with the star player. The conversations are different because they're different people, and what they need and where they're at is different. I try to think of them individually more than I do categorically. As a young coach, my biggest struggle is knowing early on whether a player responds to hard coaching or a softer touch. What tangible signs do you look for to figure that out fast, instead of learning through trial and error? -- Jack D. Harbaugh: So interesting, but I don't know if I would define it like that. How would you define what a softer touch is and what hard coaching is? What does that mean exactly? It probably means different things to different people, so I think you have to be careful about that. To me, start with yourself first. Check your own heart. Yeah, I want to be pragmatic, I want to be utilitarian, I want to find the best way to reach the player to get the most out of them. But I have to check myself first. What is my motivation? Is my motivation that I want to win a bunch of games? Yeah, of course. But it should be more about the player themself. What's best for this player? What can I do to help this player be the best version of themself? Why are we here? What's the end goal? Teachers should be about students; coaches should be about players first. And then the next thing is: Meet the person where they're at. Try to build a relationship with that person. What would it take to gain their trust in a way that they understand that you have their best interest at heart and you want what's best for them? It's not about hard coaching or soft coaching. It's more about relatable coaching. How do you handle tough conversations? Telling someone they are cut, not starting, having to fire someone, etc.? -- Bryton S. Harbaugh: All of that should start from an empathetic place. You want to put yourself in the other person's shoes. I've been in those shoes, too. I try to do it in a way that's positive, and I try to put it in perspective in terms of all the great things they're doing. I just try to explain the situation and the circumstances for what they are. And if there are some things they can do better, you want to be honest and forthright about those things in a positive way. Many leaders share how they've held subordinates accountable. How have you held peers accountable? What are those challenges with peers? -- Tom S. Harbaugh: That's a great question. As coaches, we're all peers, but even at this pro level, you are, in a sense, a peer -- partner is probably a better word -- with your players. Players and coaches are partnered in the mission of putting the best team out there. And they're also partnered to help each other achieve their goals, ambitions and dreams. I think you do it by holding each other accountable in a relationship kind of way. Like, I care about you. If somebody is willing to take the risk to come to me and tell me that I can do something better, then I shouldn't be defensive about that. I should look at that from the perspective of: This person really cares about me and wants to help me. That gives the other person permission to come to you and help you be better. It's a lot easier to not say anything. If we can all understand that that's the perspective we're coming from, then I think you can relate to everybody that way, your peers as well. What would be your advice for a young athlete trying to be a leader on their own team? And how would you say your leadership on the playing field translates to life skills? -- Nico Harbaugh: It absolutely translates. Football or any other sport, to me, is a metaphor for life. There are teams everywhere. Your family is a team. You're on a team, man, and you're facing life's challenges together. Your first job, you're on a team, and you need to be a great teammate. First of all, great leadership starts with being a great teammate and a great server. What leaders do is help everybody around them be better. The best leaders, guys like Ray Lewis and Ed Reed, made all the other players and coaches better because of how they did their job and operated. And then you actually have to care about the people who are looking to you for leadership. You have to put them first. They've got to know that you really, really care about them, that you're in their corner, and you want them to do well. The other thing is the example you set. You've got to be willing to get in there and do the work. You've got to be willing to get in there and make the same sacrifices that you're asking the people around you to make. They need to see it. How do you move your players beyond what they believe is possible when you're the one holding the vision? I'm curious about the balance between what they want for themselves and what you want for them. -- Christina J. Harbaugh: Ah, such a great point. It's really important to blend, marry and intertwine the individual dreams and goals with the team mission. Those two things need to go together. We fully acknowledge that our players have dreams and goals and aspirations, and we want to be there for them to realize all of those things. We encourage our players and coaches to rally behind one another: Tell us what your dreams are. Tell us what your goals are. Tell us a dream that you're really afraid to speak publicly because you're afraid someone is going to make fun of it. We want to know how big your dream is because we want to help you get there. There actually is an "I" in team. Matter of fact, on our team there are 53 "I"s, and there are a lot more as part of the broader team and organization. And all of the "I"s are working together to create the team. You have to take into account those individual aspirations and try to focus and blend them all together. How have you motivated your own players to grow into leadership roles on your teams? -- Rene R. Harbaugh: Some people just aren't as comfortable getting up in front of the room and speaking. Some people are just a little more reserved. That's OK. You can lead within that personality type. A lot of those guys, when they speak, it's like the old E.F. Hutton commercial: "When they speak, people listen." The best way to lead, where it always starts, is by example. You have to be respected. And in football, you're respected by how hard you work, how much you care about the team and, also, how well you play. That matters, too. How well do you do your job? Do all those things first. Leadership falls in line after that pretty easily. This article originally appeared in The Athletic.